I know what it feels like to have that realization hit you in the gut. When this happened to me I began to listen to my thoughts. I found patterns of thinking that were brutal if I had said any of them toward anyone else.
Key patterns were emerging though. Statements like “it’s too late” for me. Or, “when I get there, I’ll be able to do that”. I remembered saying “it’s too late” when I was 17 years old. (insert exclamation points here, a lot of them).
It motivated me to do the work, and I’m grateful for that. I’ve been a seeker all my life, but the realization that what I had been seeking my whole life was me, rocked my world. Over the next several years I devoured anything that would assist in tearing down the walls of fear, self loathing, and excuses that kept me from living a big beautiful life. Regardless of what the conditions in my life were.
I found my Essence, who I’ve been all along, and learned to develop a relationship with that. It’s an ever evolving and expanding practice and experience. It is the foundation on which I live my life.